So, most of you know this already, but I am terrified of rats. Mice too! (Really anything that scurries and is smaller than a cat.)
Well, I will now attempt to give you a window into my fear…
1- When I was a little kid my Mom used to bombard me with stories about her Filipino heritage. (She’s not really part Filipino. She just lived there for a while when her dad was the mission president of the Philippines.) Well, some of Mom’s favorite stories were about the rat problems in the Philippines. And one in particular stuck with me. Mom explained that the plumbing system in her Philippine home worked in a way that allowed rats to enter the toilet in the basement, climb through the pipes, and come out of the toilet in the upstairs. That’s right! RATS COMING OUT OF THE TOILET! Needless to say, I treated every number two like a race against time for years to come.
2- During my first week in the field of my mission I lived in a really dangerous and dirty area of Mexico City with my companion and two other missionaries. I, like lots of missionaries, decided to keep my suitcase under my bed. One morning I woke up and my companion was sitting Indian style on his bed staring at me. I tried to ask him what he was doing, but I couldn’t understand his response. He just kept saying “rata” and “malleta” over and over again. Finally he pointed under my bed so I got off and flipped open my luggage. As soon as I opened it, out popped a rat about two feet long. (That is not an exaggeration.) All of the missionaries started to chase the rat around the apartment until it finally escaped us… into the toilet. (Yep! Back to all of my childhood fears.)
3- When I got back from my mission I slept in my parent’s basement and I did not clean my room ever. I left piles of clothes on the ground and would only take them out when I needed my Mom to wash them. (Thanks Mom! ;-D) Well, in my bedroom I also kept a hockey stick next to my bed so I could flip off the light from my bed. (Best idea ever!) So, one night as I slept I felt something brush against my leg. It was just enough to wake me up. My mind started racing. “What was that?!” I threw the covers of my bed and jumped up. I frantically swung the hockey stick at the light switch. (I couldn’t walk over to the light switch, the vermin could’ve been hiding under my clothes.) Finally, after about thirty seconds the light came on and I held my hockey stick as if I were about to body check someone. Bekah heard all of the commotion and came running to aid only to find me standing in my underwear on top of my bed holding a hockey stick. Too this day, I still swear some small scurrying creature was in my bed that night. (Ignore anything you hear from Bekah.)
4- My first trip to green river will always be one of my favorite trips. Zo, Jesse and I decided to take the topless blazer and hit St. George/Mesquite for three days before we met up with everybody for the weekend. Great times! It was on that trip that I first learned Jesse was a fat person in a skinny person’s body. It was also on that trip that Zo fell asleep in board shorts in the back of the blazer and got third degree burns on his inner thighs. But I will mostly remember that trip because it was the first time that Jesse became a daddy. He and I had decided to sleep in the back of the blazer because neither of us wanted to deal with bugs inside a tent. In the early morning after our first night there Allison S. woke everyone up because she couldn’t sleep and she wanted everyone to jog on the beach with her. (Seriously?! Allison, does that really sound like a good idea in your brain?!) Anyway, Jesse got up and went to the passenger seat to get his clothes. He opened his bag and a rat jumped out. Don’t worry though, the rat didn’t leave Jesse empty handed. It had given birth to a litter of five baby rats on top of his flannel shirt. Needless to say we freaked and made Mikey take care of it. Well, Allison wouldn’t let Mike kill the stupid things so he carried them across the road and put them down. Then the mother began carrying the babies back to the blazer, up the tire, over the tailgate, and past where my head had been the previous night to return the little ones to Jesse’s bag. It took twenty minutes and 300 feet to finally get rid of the rat and babies.
5- My final story happened three days after my honeymoon. I don’t remember what happened so I’ll have to give you Staci’s version. We had both gone to bed in our new home and were sleeping comfortably side-by-side. As she tells it, she woke up to my screaming. She heard me yell “rat!” and I jumped out of bed and flipped on the lights. She was in shock. “What was that? Was that a rat?”, I yelled. Staci said it was only her leg, so I turned off the light and got back into bed. I was snoring less than ten seconds later and she was crying herself to sleep wondering what had just happened.
So as you can see, when I say I am scared of rats, I mean I AM SCARED OF RATS!
What are you scared of?
3 comments:
This is awesome! I was seriously crying while reading this. Ha ha ha!
But you forgot about the time when you were in High School and you started screaming that a rat was in your room. Mary and I came running in and didn't see anything so we didn't believe you. About a half hour later you were screaming again, this time we found you with a baseball bat in your hands. I bravely looked under your bed and saw two eyes staring at me. We both climbed up on the top bunk at lighting speed and screamed as we hugged each other. At that point, Dad woke up and came in to see what the heck was going on. He indeed did find an animal under your bed - it was Isaacs cat that snuck in through an open window.
Ha ha ha - funny.
That's hilarious! Great stories! We've had mice in our house and it hasn't been fun. But we have a cat now and things are all better.
Ha ha!!! I remember that Green River trip and those rats/mice in Jesse's bag.... Good times! Was that also the one where your little friend Mike decided to grace Lacey and I with his reptile friend the snake???! I'm pretty sure that wasn't too pleasant either!!!
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